Chess Pie
Chess Pie
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April 9, 2024 Weekend In The Kitchen
Lord help me. Darlene & a kitchen is a disaster. Doesn't matter if it's a weekday or a weekend. Any time she's near food, it's bad.
OK, I'm taking a deep breath & diving in.
Oh look, the inside of the Buick, again. Is there a reason I see the inside of her refrigerator more than my own? She says she went shopping on Friday (of course she did) for fruit & yogurt because it was all gone. How? In one of her last videos her Buick was full of yogurt. How many cups of yogurt do these people eat a day? Strawberries & cucumbers while still having blueberries & other produce going bad. She even has a slimy cucumber in a plastic bag, but bought 3 more. Why? You don't snack on them, so stop buying them.
Then we're staring at their lunch on this Saturday. A dried out burned pizza from the night before. C'mon, no one wants that. I don't even know how anyone chews it. It's gross. I keep asking & keep hoping she tells us why she just doesn't assemble the pizza, wrap it up & then bake it FRESH on Saturdays? Why is that so hard?
She has 2 pieces left from one pizza on Friday. How? 3 adults ate one small pizza & still had 2 pieces left over? No way. Oh, the thing she does on Saturdays? She puts the cold dried out pizza on the counter with 4 cut up strawberries, dip & that slimy leftover cucumber & you take what you want.
Huh? Since when? C'mon Dar, you never do this. And what is Andrew supposed to do, eat it cold? The woman who controls every bite you take suddenly allows you to take what you want? Well, not really. She allows you to take what you want from what she leaves on the counter. If you wanted some blueberries, you're out of luck. If you wanted to heat your pizza with some extra cheese, forget it. Maybe make a salad? Nope. She never buys lettuce. Darlene is all about salad kits & she decides when they can be opened.
Yea, when I think of Darlene, I think of how flexible she is around food. 
3 pieces of pizza left she says Andrew can have for lunch. Lunch? I though he just ate lunch. Oh, she must mean for Sunday. How great. Really crappy dried out pizza 3 days in a row. 5 pieces of strawberry left, but all the slimy cucumbers are gone & most of the dip.
I ask again, how is this lunch?
It's not. It's a joke.
She shows us the dog toilet out the window & man, they better get moving on fixing up that yard. It's bad. In the sink is a 1/2 cup of chili for Andrew for dinner. Yes, there's less than a 1/2 cup in that tiny container. My guess is she will add a pound of pasta & feed Andrew for a week.
Her stove panel is blinking, & she said the last time she had to have it replaced. OK, but why hasn't it been fixed yet? No new freezer & now she isn't fixing her stove. Interesting.
This part is one run-on sentence. I have no idea why she's talking so fast. Plus in her usual haphazard way, she jumps from subject to subject & day to day. One HF meal is left, so she will make that for herself. Andrew is going to get pasta slop with that 1/2 cup of chili & then she is cutting a green pepper & mushrooms she never cleaned  to add to Andrews dinner. She's trying to figure out her lighting, & showing us 'behind the scenes' because on Friday night the day got away from her & she JUST HAD TO GET DINNER ON THE TABLE.
I don't understand this. She had store bought dough for pizza as it was Friday & they always have pizza -so what was the problem? No idea. She was just in a huge rush to get something for dinner. OK, but is this why the pizza was burned? Was she drunk, then has to get dinner, burned it as usual & just threw it on the table so they could serve themselves? I don't know because she never says why the day became frantic at dinner time.
Even this dinner is rushed, yet it couldn't be more simple. Boil pasta & throw in the chili. Mix. Serve.
HF has everything all cut & ready, Just throw it in a pan & heat.
As she's rushing through this dinner we see the inside of the Buick again. She took what was left of that pasta salad she bought for Easter weekend no one ate & she put it in 2 containers. Then shows us her vegetable drawer with green beans she threw out because they were slimy. Hey, she bought them & then didn't have a plan!
This is beyond ridiculous. She has 20 notebooks, pads & scraps of paper, wasted hours sitting at the table writing down her brain dumps & lists & buys FRESH produce she keeps telling us she craves, but had to throw out green beans because she didn't have a plan?
Who the hell needs a plan for a vegetable? You open the drawer & the oldest vegetable is cooked for lunch or dinner. That's it. She was even too lazy to simply freeze them. And after showing us her freezer inventory a million times too!
She really is an idiot. A wasteful idiot. And a fraud. That business of all these lists & notebooks is nonsense. She takes that crap out for you-tube, films looking busy & that's it.
Onto HF where the cilantro was bad too. Hey, her week got busy. Wow, she is really the busiest person without a job I've ever seen. How busy can she be? Andrew is away all day 5 days a week, Pat lives her best life & doesn't need to rely on Darlene for anything thank God & Stupid works. How the hell is she so busy she didn't cook a HF meal all week?
Miss Moneybags who can afford to throw out food because she's lazy, tells us again how not everyone can afford HF.
Well Dar, let me tell you something. I don't know anyone who has lived in a house as many years as you have, & still have the original carpeting, flooring & fixtures in the house. People change carpet EXpecially after moving in & certainly would change it after 16 years with dogs in the house. People don't leave up a backsplash because the previous owners Dad put it up. Or keep the same sink & faucet in the kitchen. By now, most would have upgraded their counter to quartz or granite too. All the bathrooms would have been ripped out & new toilets, tubs, sinks & cabinets replaced along with the flooring.
Most when they build a new deck, build it with some thought behind it, not just the cheap way. Then they hire people to landscape their yard & plant some bushes or trees. Oh, they also have people to come weekly to cut their grass -they don't wear their Clarks shoes & do it themselves. Thanks for that picture Socalgal 
So tell us again how you can afford a crappy delivery service that sends mediocre food all in little packages for you, because you're lazy, not that you love to cook, while your house is old & dated? Tell us.
Those services are for busy people. Those who work outside the home & don't shop for food daily like you. That's the type of people who rely on them. It's not for obese lumps like you who have it sent to them & they allow things to go bad because they're still too lazy to cook it.
So, shut your fat mouth Darlene Travis about how not everyone can afford this service.
Does she shut up? Nope. Now it's ground beef. Darlene hasn't been happy with the quality of the ground beef in the stores & found another source. She doesn't mention what the source is, so if you live around her area, tough luck. Figure it out for yourself. Yea, Darlene is all about quality & not wanting leftovers. Not wanting leftovers? Since when? What will Stupid have for lunch all week if she doesn't want leftovers?
HF taught her so much about portions & how much to cook. Oh please. What HF really showed you was the amount most people eat. You have been serving child sized portions of food on your channel for years, so it's always baffled me why your super morbidly obese. What are you eating? Show us that.
She cooking the meat & cutting part of the pepper for the next nights dinner of Egg Roll In A Bowl.
Since she's not wearing her black top, I'm guess Stupid will be coming by to drop off Andrew. She shows poor Andrew dried out dinner & my God, it's awful. There was hardly any chili & of course once you add pasta, it soaks up all the liquid, so he got a dry pasta dish with mushrooms & peppers. She sprinkled some cheese on top & it didn't even melt. Of course he will have it again for days.
The HF meal was a joke. White rice with the ground beef on top, the pickled radishes & carrot on the side & mayo & sriracha on top. She actually paid money for that? Yup, & no leftovers. I laugh each time she tells us how she doesn't serve food like her mom did. No bowls or serving platters for Darlene. Nope, she like to PRESENT the food as if you're in a restaurant. After all, she would rather be served when they go out, than go to a buffet. I find that hard to believe. She's said this many times & I still call bullshit. Darlene puts food on your plate to control the portions. She knows before you even see the meal how much to pack up for leftovers, so what you are allowed is limited.
Don't try that line with us Dar, we're not new here.
Didn't she just tell us how she was going to serve dinners to 'her boys' first, so she could 'get the shot' & she would eat cold food? So why do we see Andrews dry dinner & 2 bowls of that HF meal? To prove something? What? I didn't see anyone. No one was standing waiting to be handed their plate. No one was at the table.
Because Darlene is a liar, she ate both of those plates or packed one up for her own lunch. I must SEE Stupid take his meal as if he's a prisoner.
We move to Sunday & yes, she was buying food again. Some of her healthy choices included a jug of Orange Juice & Doritos. Oh & 2 loaves of bread while she says 'I do want to make my own.'
I can't even guess how many times she has said that this year & she hasn't made a single loaf of bread or rolls yet. Just stop saying it Dar.
She bought 2 melons because MYHUSBAND loves melon. She said to him 'which do you want?' He told her to get one of each. Wasn't he there? Wouldn't he just put them in the cart himself?
My guess? She went either alone or with Andrew & bought the melons for him because they were on sale. She says Andrew picked out some snacks because he wants to pick things himself. OK, but why is it always something bad for him? Candy? We just had Easter & I'm sure he got a lot of candy, but allowed him to get more? Oh, Santa Belly Stupid picked out the chocolate. And Doritos should be off limits. Way too much salt.
No ice cream or ice pops? She used to buy ice pops 3 boxes at a time. I haven't seen her buy any in months & didn't see any in her freezer or on her inventory.
She also bought 4 tubes of toothpaste. It's a little more expensive but Darlene likes the cap. She has 2 bathrooms, so why would she need to buy 4 tubes right now? Because Stupid is taking some to his place? They also picked up other snacks & things she keeps saying Andrew picked out, but won't show it. What's the big secret? We know you eat junk. No need to hide it. That's an old Darlene tactic, to hide a lot of what she buys. We usually see things in later vlogs we never saw in a grocery haul, so this has been going on for years. Then look at them. Of course they all eat junk. Junk & bad choices for meals. I wrote out the nutrition of those HF meals & no one at that house should be eating them.
So forget all the snacks she hid & concentrate on what she wanted to show us, cutting a melon. Wow, riveting. Well, Stupid thought so. He told her how he LOVED how she cut off the skin & that the melon was PERFECT. Boy, what a guy.
She needed the bread (she is going to make herself one day) for lunch today. Salmon. Salmon sandwiches. I've seen Darlene make chicken & egg salad sandwiches, so I know this is going to be bad. Stupid LOVES chicken salad & the last time she made it, you could almost pour it she had so much MW in it.
I'm already gagging just thinking of this canned salmon. This is the part of the video when she wants to tell a story. How when Stupid would come home from a tour & have time off they would go see her parents. And Pat always had a can of salmon & would offer to make sandwiches.
Darlene thought of her mom as she made these sandwiches & wants viewers to share something they make to keep the memory of loved ones alive. What? Did Darlene forget her mom is still alive?
This is the new direction of her channel. To share memories & it's not always going to be things that money can buy.
What is her obsession with money?
First HF, then she's buying food she lets go to waste & more expensive toothpaste because of the cap.
This video is a MYHUSBAND overload. As she keeps telling us how her mom made lunches, she add green relish to bread she spread with margarine. Man, I think I'm going to be sick. So much Miracle Whip in the salmon, then margarine on the bread, then relish. She puts the plastic wrapped cucumber on that germ board, then the bread.
That cucumber was probably touched by 20 people & yet she had it on a board she is using to make sandwiches. I have yet to see her clean that wood board properly yet, so each time I see bread touch it, I gag.
She says she was alone & Stupid 'came' & said its that for my lunch? Came? Came over? If he was already home, where would he suddenly come from to ask about these sandwiches? He didn't know she was making them for his lunch? How? I thought he was there to compliment her on how she cut the melon. So he wasn't there, but came over when she was making lunches for him?
Interesting.
Who wants a sandwich swimming in MW made 2 days ahead for lunch? Why couldn't they be made in the morning? Because he isn't there in the morning?
This lovey dovey couple like to do little things for each other. They do? You mean like when Stupid gave you the finger when he was taking down the pool deck? Or when he stands around with his hands in his pockets as you rush around the kitchen burning dinner? Things like that?
Get lost Dar. I've watched you for 8 years & never saw or heard one loving moment between you two. Not one real 'honey' or a touch of your shoulder or playing with your hair. Nothing ever. I've only witnessed a tight YES, DEAR, & that was years ago.
I don't believe he gives you the time of day, no matter how many melons you cut up for him.
He even gave her a hug. Oh please. This is really getting bad now. He's never touched her in 8 years, but Darlene wants you to know that their relationship is all about balance. She knows your relationship may not be this way, but you do you.
What a crock of shit this is. A guy who won't even be man enough to come on camera & tell her sycophants what a great wife he has.
He gets some melon, the rest of that old pasta salad from Easter & a sandwich. I hope he likes it because he's getting it again for lunch the next day.
Lunch was over & it was a beautiful afternoon where they went out. Went out? You mean you all actually left the house to go somewhere that wasn't a store & never showed it?
Yup. Darlene, you know the rules. If we don't see it, it didn't happen. You lie.
For dinner she's making the egg roll in a bowl & luckily her coleslaw is still good. Not slimy. Crisis averted. It's extra special because she asked Stupid to pick it up weeks ago at Giant Tiger. What a good errand boy.
MYHUSBAND, MYHUSBAND, MYHUSBAND.
She serves 2 big bowls of that stuff after putting salty toppings & sugary sauces over it & still has a lot leftover. I don't know how. Cabbage cooks down & she had a lot in the bowls, so where did she get enough to fill 2 glass containers for 2 lunches for herself? She is the only person I know that has more leftovers than the original meals.
Andrew got dried out & reheated pasta glue.
Back to seeing the inside of the Buick again. Man, how is this content? She has an entire drawer full of cheese & says they don't eat much cheese anymore.
I really am wondering where the weight gain is coming from then. What are they eating to continue to gain weight?
She ends with showing her list of foods stuffed in her Buick & things this is a good approach to cooking going forward.
The end.
Thank the Lord. If she was getting paid each time she said MYHUSBAND, she could afford to fix up the inside of the house. Way too much MYHUSBAND for a guy who wants no part of her channel.
Again Dar, if he isn't a part of your channel & can't be seen or heard, I don't need to know what he thinks, likes or does. If he's off the channel, that means he's off the channel. Shut up about him.
Or tell him to be a man & show himself. No? Then keep him off the channel.
Sorry this is so late, but we had a busy day today & I was watching in pieces. Not sure how much sense this will make or how many mistakes I made, but at least it's up. You know what I mean.
See you tomorrow 
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Happy Birthday. Sorry I'm late. Blame Darlene lol.
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