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.I actually thought of Jen while listening to Michelle Obama's speech tonight. It's funny- they both went through high school in the Chicago area. One black and decidedly working class, the other white and economically privileged.
It's like a reversal of fortunes.
And, I wonder if the key difference is not in a million years would Michelle or the Robinson family tolerate the self-indulgent drivel that Jen posted earlier. So- go ahead, focus on your own happiness, Jen, and continue down the road to ruin.
I just imagined Jen explaining to Michelle why life was so difficult for her as a struggling, vegan, single mama after divorcing her non-vegan cash cow. -
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Regarding her mother, there are a lot of us who have had problematic relationships w/ our mother... lots of mothers have been hyper-critical & passive aggressive w/ their daughters. My mom was hyper-critical & passive aggressive & also had undiagnosed anxiety that would manifest as impatience & rage.
I have all kinds of issues that I’m still sorting out & even just now recognizing in myself, & I’m in my 40s.
But most of us don’t let stuff like that define us. Whatever kind of relationship we had/have w/ our mother doesn’t give us the excuse to be a selfish, self-involved adult. The time period right after I became a mom myself was a bit of turning point for me... it took me a while, & I probably wasn’t the best mom when my kids were little... but I started seeing things in myself & recognizing a pattern... and I stopped letting who my mom was keep affecting me, if that makes sense. I realized I couldn’t be an anxious-ridden, impatient, hyper-critical, yell-y mom just because that’s how I was raised. Even w/ my own anxiety & insecurities, I needed to be better. I could have anxiety & be insecure, but I couldn’t put that on my kids.
So, while I sympathize w/ Jen if her relationship w/ Jill was problematic, I only have to a point. Once you’re an adult, & especially after you’re a parent, you’re responsible for your choices & your behavior.
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Man, this one really hit me deep. I could have written this post myself. My kids are still little and I still find myself falling into these patterns. Thanks for shining a light on this! I need to find some ways to take some deep breaths and not get impatient and irritable with my kids. I guess acknowledging the problem is the first step.
I agree though, you cared enough about your children to think about how your behavior might be affecting them. It seems like this is something Jen would never do. She’d just get defensive and say how much she loves her kids. I don’t doubt that she loves them, but love isn’t enough. You need to care enough that it may even be uncomfortable for yourself, in an effort to make things better for them. -
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Haven't read the last pages and I see that Jen has the usual boring (lack of) content but I just wanted to say that normally I don't like talking about my issues and I don't like when people say "and my life was worse" "and I had more problems than you" etc etc but simply if every person in the world who had issue in their childhood turned out to be as bad as Jen, there would be like 100 "good" people in the world lol
No matter how critical Jill was or what eating disorder or anxiety Jen had, she had more time and more money and more possibilities than most people to make herself better and grow. Fine, she spent all those years with no job, in a big paid for house, with no kids to mind doing shopping and tidying and her YouTube hobby, but if she was ever willing to improve herself, after CC was born she should have woken up, become an adult and stop being gentle with herself and require constant attention and understanding from other people!
She has been gentle with herself for a lifetime, if she wanted to grow up and she didn't do it after becoming a mother, she will never do it. As someone cleverly wrote earlier, she actually USED her children to get more protection from the Rosses instead of becoming finally independent.
I say this as a person who has no children and surely enjoys her free time to be lazy, relax and "be gentle with herself". The difference is that I work full time, look after my house, do my own cleaning and look after my partner whom I actually care about and is not a living wallet to me haha. -
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Bunion of Fury
I love you. -
.It was Zen of Pooh and Tao of Piglet IIRC? They aren’t children’s books (for a change).
The Tao of Pooh and the Te of Piglet. Great books!. -
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Also my mom has always been hyper-critical, passive-aggressive and unable to show emotions, stern face all the time. In the latest year, I came to the conclusion that she might have narcissistic traits.
Whatever I did, she did better 20 years ago, still remembering those old and maybe unrelated experiences to prove she is the best ever and know best.
The job I have is because of her, oh yes, because thanks to my parents' sacrifices I could go to university.Thank you mom to have passed all the exams! and thank you mom if my interview was successful and I have a career!
So, it's HER merit.
She buys the same t-shirt but smaller, to make you understand she is thinner, and you are so fat. She never ever worked out of her house one day in her life, but she knows how corporate work or office work is. Examples are so many I could write a book.
She is minding my son at the moment, cause all preschools are closed and we can't afford a babysitter ( my husband has been on layoffs for COVID since March, but now is back out there, finally and luckily)
My son adores her and she shows affection to him in a way that surprises me.
I am the one providing for my family at the moment because due to my husband layoffs, our money has decreased and we can't buy our own house anymore, rent paid and expenses paid, food on the table, clean clothes and possibly clean house (at least, the bed is made every morning!)
I'm physically disabled since birth due to a medical error during delivery. Thank you doctors!
I can do most things, but I have limitations. Yet, I am here. I do my things every day.
Last night I had a back pain I could barely lift a bottle of water, my husband cooked dinner while minding our son. I was in pain, yet I managed to clean the kitchen afterwards, and prepare lunch for my office lunch break today.
I was so ragey and frustrated thinking about our Jen and you know what? I considered, that all in all, she is so clever, she understood how to win a free golden ticket, without having to worry a day in her useless life, without knowing how it is to work 8 hours, go home and have all the things to do, plus a whining hungry toddler whose favourite current word is NO!
Sorry ladies (and gents) end of pity party/ rant.. -
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I totally agree with you, Jen has been so clever in sneakily ensuring for herself a life of comfort, money, time and zero effort. I will always envy the fact that she doesn't need to work to earn money, but at the same time when you look at the rest of her life, is it worth it? She has nobody who actually loves and cares for her, Don has to deal with her for the kids, the Rosses somehow are still linked to her but that's it, her parents surely care for her, but how present are they? I never see them coming over. She has the kids, but the poor creatures have to be with her and know no better, as soon as they grow up they will open their eyes and things will change. She has her "virtual" friends that obviously mean nothing.
So when I look at all that maybe it's better to struggle and go to work and pay our rent with sacrifices and tiredness but at the end of the day be proud of what you're doing for your family and for how aware you are of yourself and your blessings!
Also my mom has always been hyper-critical, passive-aggressive and unable to show emotions, stern face all the time. In the latest year, I came to the conclusion that she might have narcissistic traits.
Whatever I did, she did better 20 years ago, still remembering those old and maybe unrelated experiences to prove she is the best ever and know best.
The job I have is because of her, oh yes, because thanks to my parents' sacrifices I could go to university.Thank you mom to have passed all the exams! and thank you mom if my interview was successful and I have a career!
So, it's HER merit.
She buys the same t-shirt but smaller, to make you understand she is thinner, and you are so fat. She never ever worked out of her house one day in her life, but she knows how corporate work or office work is. Examples are so many I could write a book.
She is minding my son at the moment, cause all preschools are closed and we can't afford a babysitter ( my husband has been on layoffs for COVID since March, but now is back out there, finally and luckily)
My son adores her and she shows affection to him in a way that surprises me.
I am the one providing for my family at the moment because due to my husband layoffs, our money has decreased and we can't buy our own house anymore, rent paid and expenses paid, food on the table, clean clothes and possibly clean house (at least, the bed is made every morning!)
I'm physically disabled since birth due to a medical error during delivery. Thank you doctors!
I can do most things, but I have limitations. Yet, I am here. I do my things every day.
Last night I had a back pain I could barely lift a bottle of water, my husband cooked dinner while minding our son. I was in pain, yet I managed to clean the kitchen afterwards, and prepare lunch for my office lunch break today.
I was so ragey and frustrated thinking about our Jen and you know what? I considered, that all in all, she is so clever, she understood how to win a free golden ticket, without having to worry a day in her useless life, without knowing how it is to work 8 hours, go home and have all the things to do, plus a whining hungry toddler whose favourite current word is NO!
Sorry ladies (and gents) end of pity party/ rant.. -
.I totally agree with you, Jen has been so clever in sneakily ensuring for herself a life of comfort, money, time and zero effort. I will always envy the fact that she doesn't need to work to earn money, but at the same time when you look at the rest of her life, is it worth it? She has nobody who actually loves and cares for her, Don has to deal with her for the kids, the Rosses somehow are still linked to her but that's it, her parents surely care for her, but how present are they? I never see them coming over. She has the kids, but the poor creatures have to be with her and know no better, as soon as they grow up they will open their eyes and things will change. She has her "virtual" friends that obviously mean nothing.
So when I look at all that maybe it's better to struggle and go to work and pay our rent with sacrifices and tiredness but at the end of the day be proud of what you're doing for your family and for how aware you are of yourself and your blessings!
You are so right. I, too, will always envy her for the same reasons. But no, it is not worth it because, as you perfectly said, her life is sad and empty. She will never understand the value of a hard earned weekend or holiday, or just 2 hours of freedom to the beauty shop when someone can take care of yourself! Or, when you finally can splurge on silly LUSH soap (just an example) because you really had a bad day and you want to have something nice for your shower.
She lost all of her privileges. She does not value or appreciate what she has because it is not earned, so it is obvious and intrinsic.
She is alone, her family (Mom) doesn't seem to reach out, and she doesn't have any friend say to go and have a coffee and a piece of cake, or an external support net to help her when in need ( apart for the soup kitchen)
Oh yes, at the end of the day, although with all the sacrifices and tiredness, I am proud I have a very intelligent and independent son and a very doting and loving husband. Then, I look ad them and I feel all is worth it.. -
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haha I love your Lush example! it's so true, if you have an expensive Lush bath bomb everyday just because you will never appreciate the value of splurging a little bit on that overpriced fancy bath bomb and use it when you really need a nice relaxing time for yourself!
Her whole life has been a holiday from the real world and she has lost (or never found) meaning in the whole thing, she's totally lost I think and Don/the marriage were probably her only tie to the (somehow) real world. She thinks she's finally untamed but she's the captain of a sinking boat in a very wild ocean and she never learnt how to swim!. -
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Cookie224
Oh yes!
She thinks she is so free and independent, and untamed! not realizing that she doesn't know where to turn!
I'm here to see the Jentanic sink! At least, she has new swimsuits!
Just Sinking Like the Titanic but with new swimsuits Like Jen
Edited by VirutalHug - 18/8/2020, 12:01. -
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Great news, Bakers!
My COVID test was negative!
Break out the Hendricks, it’s martini time!
-DKR II. -
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Poopsie
I'm so HAPPY for you, Poopsie!
To celebrate, I'll bake you a cake with canned frosting, just how you like it!!!. -
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That's great news Poopsie! 
The Jentanic!!!
Will she let us know how her new frilly V neck swimsuit is holding up there?! lol
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.So the did not post a video last week just because she did not feel like. Now she has a video recorded and will sit on it for 5 days before posting it? Just go away, Jen. You suck at your jobby.
Aha but Jen can only post on a Friday!!
Routines have to be followed to the letter. No allowance for spontaneity.
Jen has routines for every.minute.of.every.day.
Try that when CC is a teen!
I am qualified to say that, in my professional opinion, yes Jen is on the Autism Spectrum.
You cannot counsel someone out of the lists and the routines, it is part of the condition. It's not her parent's fault either.
Think about Rain Man watered down and see the parallels.
The Rosses realised this a long time ago and that is why they pander to her.
Medication would only work to lessen severe symptoms. There is no cure.
It's the way she is and that is never going to change.. -
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As a child and adolescent psychiatrist - no, she is not on the autism spectrum, she has a personality disorder. .
UnintentionallyObnoxiousWhileTakingABreakFromDoingNothingLikeJen PT 178 |
