Lumpy Frosting
Lumpy Frosting
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QUOTE (SelfCare @ 20/11/2020, 15:55) I don't even find watching her insta amusing anymore. It gives me a lot of second hand embarrassment and actually worry for her. It's 100% understandable that what she went through was really tough, divorce is never easy, even if you're financially comfortable (I don't think they're f*ck you rich) but it just aggravates me to see her running out of gas and sputtering and not seeking help.
This is where my frustration lies with her. Lots of perceived motion, no actual movement. The wheels are spinning, but the car is going in circles and not actually getting anywhere.
I kind of hoped, when Jen said she was giving up counseling for a life coach, that she’d finally have some structure and it would get her to do something, because life coaching is about defining and setting clear goals and taking steps to reach those goals in a defined timeframe. It’s less focusing on feelings and more focusing on action.
But a life coach can only do so much and at some point it has to come from Jen. (Although I maintain a low dose of Wellbutrin would be extremely helpful to her.) If you’re spending so much time processing your feelings, that’s taking time away from making progress. Divorce is hard, moving is hard, navigating coparenting is hard, having an injury that affects your quality of life is hard, we’re all navigating a pandemic and that’s hard. But Jen shoots herself in the (bunioned) foot and makes stuff extra hard and blames it on everything but herself.
Coparenting is harder when you have a wacky schedule. Divorce is harder when you’re spending an inordinate amount of time processing your feelings and then willfully go on a multiple week trip with your soon to be ex. Moving is harder when you buy too much house and create your own obstacles to settling in. Being a “content creator” is hard because people are going to judge you, it’s harder if you feed into that. Put out your stuff and own it or STOP.
For a long time I’ve just wanted to shake her and been like, YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER, nobody is going to do it for you. But you’re putting off living your best life because YOU are creating the obstacles to get there. And the fact that she has nobody in her life who has either tried that, or is capable of getting through to her, makes the sputtering (SUCH a good way to put it) really hard to watch.
What has she accomplished this year? She filed for divorce that I think we all agree was not actually what she wanted, she bought a house because she was forced into that too. That’s it. She hasn’t fully moved into the house. She hasn’t gotten control of her eating disorder. She is going nowhere. She’s barely surviving, and it looks like even surviving is a daily struggle, so of course she’s not progressing as a person. And she has the means and the time and the resources to be living a completely different existence and she’s not and THAT’S what’s frustrating.
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She needs to get a life.
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