NamastayInMeTimeLikeJen Pt 209

Here’s what I got out of it:

-She felt the most herself as a child.
-“society” told her to get married and be a housewife and eventually have kids, so she played the part. Because society AND CONDITIONING TOLD HER THIS IS HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO BE.

She wants to be herself and by herself. She only feels more like “herself” because she is not with the kids regularly, so she can pretend that she’s single again. Newsflash for Jen- everyone loses a little bit of themselves when they have kids. It’s just what happens. It’s part of growing up. You become the provider and parent of these innocent little children who need you. So you have to sacrifice yourself a little. You do not need to completely change who you were, it’s just what happens. It gets better as the children grow up, but your life is no longer your own.

Also, she never wanted kids. I’ll say it again. She never wanted them. She felt pressured bc that’s what society told her (words from Glennon). But here is where this doesn’t make sense. It is NOT society telling her this. It’s not 1950 anymore. She married in a decade where you could choose your life. Want to stay single? Stay single. Want to get married and have kids? Great! If anything her parents could have expected her to marry and have kids but it was JEN who made the decision to get married young and be a housewife.

Which in a Q&A she mentioned that SHE CHOSE IT AND ITS WHAT WORKS FOR HER AND SHE LIKES IT. She even said people often questioned her not having a job and she learned to ignore them because it’s what works for her. But of course, Amnesialikejen feels like she was forced to believe that was what she wanted. 🙄

Jen should never have said yes to Don. He was probably blind sided that she all of a sudden felt that she was caged by Don and society and wanted out.

She wants to go back to her childhood and be herself without anyone or anything to be responsible for. And Don kept keeping her in that role with Children’s books and stuffed animals (so he’s a bit to blame for not pushing her to grow up-but I think he did that to make her happy, as any husband would). I think kids forced Jen to grow up and she doesn’t like it. Those kids deserve better.

She said she filled dons void with herself and it feels great.....but then she’s also wanting love again, which would fill that void. It’s one or the other Jen. If you get married again you will AGAIN FEEL like you have lost yourself.

You can’t lose yourself if you never had a sense of self to begin with. She’s been chasing that for a long time.

Also, she is NOT happy. Despite her saying it over and over, she is not. She can never be.