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Small smiles at least Attached Image
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.I was once set up on a blind date with a divorced man with four teenagers. I was young, never married with no kids. His kids HATED me on sight because I was the first date Daddy had after the divorce.
We only went out for a short time because he had nothing to offer but baggage. There is NOTHING for a woman in a relationship like this! A man wants help with his resentful, smartass kids and his dirty house. Someone to cook the meals and do the laundry.
The kids benefit, too. They have someone stable doing motherly things for them while they throw zingers at her because she doesn't do the laundry right or know their favorite foods.
I remember thinking that if I married the guy he would have me doing all of the above and he would also expect hot sex every night. I would be the only person in that home who gave and gave and gave. I would get NOTHING in return.
These men will let their children blame YOU for everything because it takes the heat off of THEM for being an inadequate, self-centered father.
Wanna sign up? (Heavy, heavy sarcasm!)
I'm so glad you didn't get involved in that life of drudgery!. -
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I haven’t been around… busy with the new job. But why the heck does he not get these poor kid hairs cut?. I don’t understand. They look homeless. wow wow wow.. -
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They do look homeless. Generally in poor condition. I was in Walmart and saw a little girl about three years old in what looked like her father's dirty long john (flannel underwear) top. She had no shoes. She was covered in dirt and her hair had rats all over. I immediately thought of the Mills kids when I saw her, not because they look as bad off as her but they are also the sort of kids you'd notice like I noticed her. They don't look normally dressed/groomed or cared for.. -
.Couldn’t wait to share. During morning worship, we honored our high school graduates, one a home schooler. She not only graduated high school but also will be graduating from community college with an associate degree. She is not finished and has been accepted into a well known college so she can earn a bachelors degree. Home school can be successful if done right.
That's awesome!! Congrats to her!
Also I haven't watched Tommo's channel in forever but I have been curious to see how they are doing, so maybe I will join in this thread.Dream Big Lilacs
Although I agree to an extent that a good woman coming in as a wife and mother would be of great benefit to the family, the feminist in me says WHY? Why does it have to be an outsider and a woman to rescue this family? This family is Tom's responsibility alone. He created each member intentionally. He knew every time Andrea became pregnant, that this was another being to clothe, feed, give medical care to, clean up after, and provide educational and emotional support. We all know this when we have families.. that one member may die. We are afraid of it and worry how we might provide being alone this way. That's why most people don't have families with 10 kids. He was given plenty of money to hire a nanny who could supervise the kids, do light house cleaning, and provide meals. His neighbor could have come to give the house a good cleaning once a week. Judah doesn't like that? Too bad! He's not the dad. If Judah doesn't want to clean the house by himself top to bottom every week, then he needs to put his belongings away so he doesn't feel embarrassed by them when someone comes to clean.
It's always a woman who has to come in and save the family by cleaning, cooking, educating, and providing emotionally support. Yet, she's the one given the least respect. She has to listen to King Tommo giving his opinions and ideas precedence. If there is a woman out there that for some reason really connects with Tom and loves his kids, then that will be great. It's her path to choose. I don't believe it's Cinderella. We saw first hand how April wanted that position. There will be others. I feel sorry for the kids as there is no good outcome for them. Lots of people remarry. The older kids will have to get over themselves. The younger kids will adjust better but the entire family will always be hurt, full of grief, and dysfunctional. Tom is no ray of sunshine. There might be a woman out there that can be little Claudia's ray of sunshine. But it shouldn't have to be anyone outside of that family stepping up having to be.
Well said!! I freaking love you!
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Comment from the most recent Shopping trip. I was very surprised Tommo didn’t block and delete them. 😂😂 Scratched out their name, but this person was slightly on to something. He only lectures Solly and Claudia not Hannah and Sophia. He seemed frustrated having to pay the cashier. I’m sure he let Solly have it after the cameras were done rolling.
I was surprised Solly was short, he is usually pretty good with his money. I wonder if after seeing Sophia and Hannah constantly get away with it, maybe he thought he could do the same? The cashier would have paid for his stuff but Tom just happened to walk in last minute. How embarrassing for Thomas and Judah?! This is starting to become a pattern with the younger kids, they never did this before, I feel like they know exactly what they are doing. 🤔 And every week Tommo says he will help them the following week but he never does. Maybe he likes his kids to look needy? It lets the “YouTube people” know to send more cash.Attached Image
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Justus gave Solly $5 for chips and said he could use the change. I think Solly over estimated how much he would have to spend on himself.
I really don't understand why Tom doesn't carry a pocket calculator in the car to bring out every Thursday. I'd say to stash some in the girls purses, but they so sporadically bring them, it probably wouldn't make a difference.
It's a no wonder those kids feel confused on what to buy bc half the kids he will fork over money for, the other half he lectures.. -
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I think the only reason he gave Solly money was because he had already given Hannah money and he knew people would comment that he was playing favorites. I’ve seen him refuse to give Solomon as little as 10 cents before. Thomas ended up giving it to Solomon and Tom lectured Solomon about that. Saying it’s not good to borrow money. Next time work more. . -
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He shouldn't have to bail his kids out every week, as the whole purpose of this endeavor is to teach the kids how to handle money and teach them responsibility. He lets his kids run wild in the store and fend for themselves. He should be teaching them explicitly how to count what they have, add the tax and make sure they have enough money. Otherwise, it just becomes chaos. . -
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When he takes them to the store on Thursdays, he walks over to the girls in front of the candy shelf and has to make it look good by just standing there, not trying to help them at all with how much this or that is and how much they have to spend, then he goes on his merry way and leaves them to make a judgement that clearly they can't do on their own, this is supposed to be a learning experience on how to manage money,yeah right, my foot, then he makes a point of embarrassing them when they need more, well Solly & Claudia anyways, but when he's called out on his favoritism, he says I think your only seeing what you want?? Idiot!! . -
.I was once set up on a blind date with a divorced man with four teenagers. I was young, never married with no kids. His kids HATED me on sight because I was the first date Daddy had after the divorce.
We only went out for a short time because he had nothing to offer but baggage. There is NOTHING for a woman in a relationship like this! A man wants help with his resentful, smartass kids and his dirty house. Someone to cook the meals and do the laundry.
The kids benefit, too. They have someone stable doing motherly things for them while they throw zingers at her because she doesn't do the laundry right or know their favorite foods.
I remember thinking that if I married the guy he would have me doing all of the above and he would also expect hot sex every night. I would be the only person in that home who gave and gave and gave. I would get NOTHING in return.
These men will let their children blame YOU for everything because it takes the heat off of THEM for being an inadequate, self-centered father.
Wanna sign up? (Heavy, heavy sarcasm!)
Boppo22 Im glad you walked away from that situation.
Based on the videos Tommo made when April was there.....and the comments he made about his current GF......Tommo wants somebody to be "kind and patient" with him, while HE grieves and is sad and depressed and needy. What's in it for the woman? Nothing I can see.
He said his current GF is so kind and patient with him. How long is she supposed to stick around being kind and patient with Tommo? While her own life passes by......and she has nothing to show for it except being kind and patient to Tommo? April had a lucky escape.
I thought it was interesting how when April first arrived on the scene Tommo talked about how their color wheel wasn't forever and how the day was coming when it would be time to move on.....and how he was gonna be making changes in how they did things! He was so amazed how April arrived with matching clothes so she could do their color wheel with them. And he said over and over how nobody HAD to match. Folks were free to wear whatever colors they wanted to wear. Then.....When she did a live stream with him a few weeks later, and she was not matching....he looked right at her and said .... "You not wearing purple". How fast he forgot what he said about not HAVING to match!
I truly 100% believe Tommo will never be ready to let go of all their "traditions" about matching, and the robotic regimented lifestyle they all live. It is all so hardwired in his brain for 22 years......and he is so fixed and rigid how he thinks about everything....he will never be able to let go. He is also so stubborn and arrogant and ignorant and needy, he will never change. I don't believe he ever will.
He is raising kids who are so rigid in how they think and who are so hardwired about routines and regimens, they will find it so hard to change also, and to have a new step mom who maybe thinks differently and does things differently. I dont believe Tommo could ever be comfortable with that. I believe a new wife will HAVE to change to doing everything THEIR way. I 100% believe that. Because Tommo will never change. The kids might want to change and do new things.....but I do not believe Tommo will allow that.
I believe that will cause a LOT of tension and stress for any new wife.....and for all the kids. Everything has to be done Tommo's way and I dont think that will ever change.
The new wife will not be allowed to work. He said there are "a lot of kids who need a lot of love" when he was asked after Andrea passed if his next wife could work outside the home. He said he didn't think that could work. He WANTS a woman to do what Andrea did.....stay home 24/7 and take care of him and all the kids.
So.....a new wife will be 100% dependent on him for money. She wont be able to earn her own money. What happens if she wanted to buy better food? Better food is more expensive. Would he agree to that? What happens if she wanted to buy better shoes for the kids....better quality shoes.....and better quality clothes? Would he agree to spending more money on clothes and shoes for the kids? What happens if she wanted to fix up the house? Fix the floors? Finish the girls room? Buy new curtains for the girls room? Would he agree to spend money on that? Or would he show her where Andreas sewing machine was and tell her to go buy fabric like Andrea used to do? And give her the paint color matching gadget he bought for Andrea so she could paint inside the house herself?
Would the kids rebel against a new step mom because she is taking the place of their Mom? That happens a lot. Maybe they might love having somebody who was kind and caring and who remember important stuff like their ages and what grades they were in at school. But if they are not allowed to change how they live in their rigid routines.....they may grow to resent her a LOT.
Will she be allowed to teach the kids to say please and thank you.....and how to use silverware when they eat? Will she be allowed to teach Hannah to quit interrupting and repeating everything over and over until she gets FULL attention? Will she be allowed to show love and affection to Solly and Claudia and NOT to favor Sophia and Hannah all the time?
I hope Tommo's GF thinks about this. I hope she watches all the videos with April and her kids in....frame-by-frame....and opens her heart to the reality that is right there in ALL the videos. The answers to every doubt and question she may have are ALL right there, posted by Tommo. He doesn't see his own reality. Everybody else does. I hope she will too.. -
.I'm glad the boys got their celebration. Andrea used to put on quite the party for end of year with a trip to the arcade and grandparents joining along. This looks like the normal hotdogs and chips they have with cake thrown in. Thomas has invited one person and Asher none.
I hope this was nice for the boys at least.
I second this. Every kid/young adult who finishes high school should have some kind of celebration. I really hope they enjoyed it and had a fun time. It may not have been an Andrea-caliber event but I’m glad Tom did something to celebrate.
The videos of going to Mac & Roonies at the end of the year looked like a lot of fun. It was however a very noisy place.. -
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Dream Big The reason his kids would have a hard time adjusting is because TOM has a hard time adjusting to letting anyone else be in control. Even with Andrea he allowed her to take care of everything BUT it was still him who she had to run things by in order to get permission for anything that when on in that house.
He doesn't trust anyone to make the decisions because he thinks only HE knows best.
Look at how he was upset that "Hannah goes to April to be rocked". Remember he said he felt jealous that Hannah went to April and not him? Well, he NEVER rocked her that's why. No one did until April came and rocked her before bed.
He didn't want his kids to go to anyone else. He didn't want April to take Eden for a haircut. He was angry that April suggested it without "asking him first". Then he was even more angry that April told Eden "your Father said no".
So in his world things have to be decided by him first and then the kids never know if he says no to something. This way he keeps his "great Dad image" He was angry with April because Eden knew he had said no. To him that made him look bad.
No woman will ever feel like she belongs. She will be the outcast who does all the work and he decides everything about the kids and the home. The kids will never feel close to another woman because Tom won't allow that to happen. HE has to be their world and no one else.
Tom says he WANTS a new mother for his kids but he doesn't want them to love her as much or possibly more than him. No woman will ever be able to win over those kids because Tom will get jealous.
So it's BS he wants a new mother for them, he just wants a live in bed mate, housekeeper, bill payer, baby sitter etc. He doesn't want his kids to have an actual connection to her.. -
.Dream Big The reason his kids would have a hard time adjusting is because TOM has a hard time adjusting to letting anyone else be in control. Even with Andrea he allowed her to take care of everything BUT it was still him who she had to run things by in order to get permission for anything that when on in that house.
He doesn't trust anyone to make the decisions because he thinks only HE knows best.
Look at how he was upset that "Hannah goes to April to be rocked". Remember he said he felt jealous that Hannah went to April and not him? Well, he NEVER rocked her that's why. No one did until April came and rocked her before bed.
He didn't want his kids to go to anyone else. He didn't want April to take Eden for a haircut. He was angry that April suggested it without "asking him first". Then he was even more angry that April told Eden "your Father said no".
So in his world things have to be decided by him first and then the kids never know if he says no to something. This way he keeps his "great Dad image" He was angry with April because Eden knew he had said no. To him that made him look bad.
No woman will ever feel like she belongs. She will be the outcast who does all the work and he decides everything about the kids and the home. The kids will never feel close to another woman because Tom won't allow that to happen. HE has to be their world and no one else.
Tom says he WANTS a new mother for his kids but he doesn't want them to love her as much or possibly more than him. No woman will ever be able to win over those kids because Tom will get jealous.
So it's BS he wants a new mother for them, he just wants a live in bed mate, housekeeper, bill payer, baby sitter etc. He doesn't want his kids to have an actual connection to her.
Eden and the other girls should be able to get their haircut whenever their hearts desire.. -
.I was once set up on a blind date with a divorced man with four teenagers. I was young, never married with no kids. His kids HATED me on sight because I was the first date Daddy had after the divorce.
We only went out for a short time because he had nothing to offer but baggage. There is NOTHING for a woman in a relationship like this! A man wants help with his resentful, smartass kids and his dirty house. Someone to cook the meals and do the laundry.
The kids benefit, too. They have someone stable doing motherly things for them while they throw zingers at her because she doesn't do the laundry right or know their favorite foods.
I remember thinking that if I married the guy he would have me doing all of the above and he would also expect hot sex every night. I would be the only person in that home who gave and gave and gave. I would get NOTHING in return.
These men will let their children blame YOU for everything because it takes the heat off of THEM for being an inadequate, self-centered father.
Wanna sign up? (Heavy, heavy sarcasm!)
Boppo22 Im glad you walked away from that situation.
Based on the videos Tommo made when April was there.....and the comments he made about his current GF......Tommo wants somebody to be "kind and patient" with him, while HE grieves and is sad and depressed and needy. What's in it for the woman? Nothing I can see.
He said his current GF is so kind and patient with him. How long is she supposed to stick around being kind and patient with Tommo? While her own life passes by......and she has nothing to show for it except being kind and patient to Tommo? April had a lucky escape.
I thought it was interesting how when April first arrived on the scene Tommo talked about how their color wheel wasn't forever and how the day was coming when it would be time to move on.....and how he was gonna be making changes in how they did things! He was so amazed how April arrived with matching clothes so she could do their color wheel with them. And he said over and over how nobody HAD to match. Folks were free to wear whatever colors they wanted to wear. Then.....When she did a live stream with him a few weeks later, and she was not matching....he looked right at her and said .... "You not wearing purple". How fast he forgot what he said about not HAVING to match!
I truly 100% believe Tommo will never be ready to let go of all their "traditions" about matching, and the robotic regimented lifestyle they all live. It is all so hardwired in his brain for 22 years......and he is so fixed and rigid how he thinks about everything....he will never be able to let go. He is also so stubborn and arrogant and ignorant and needy, he will never change. I don't believe he ever will.
He is raising kids who are so rigid in how they think and who are so hardwired about routines and regimens, they will find it so hard to change also, and to have a new step mom who maybe thinks differently and does things differently. I dont believe Tommo could ever be comfortable with that. I believe a new wife will HAVE to change to doing everything THEIR way. I 100% believe that. Because Tommo will never change. The kids might want to change and do new things.....but I do not believe Tommo will allow that.
I believe that will cause a LOT of tension and stress for any new wife.....and for all the kids. Everything has to be done Tommo's way and I dont think that will ever change.
The new wife will not be allowed to work. He said there are "a lot of kids who need a lot of love" when he was asked after Andrea passed if his next wife could work outside the home. He said he didn't think that could work. He WANTS a woman to do what Andrea did.....stay home 24/7 and take care of him and all the kids.
So.....a new wife will be 100% dependent on him for money. She wont be able to earn her own money. What happens if she wanted to buy better food? Better food is more expensive. Would he agree to that? What happens if she wanted to buy better shoes for the kids....better quality shoes.....and better quality clothes? Would he agree to spending more money on clothes and shoes for the kids? What happens if she wanted to fix up the house? Fix the floors? Finish the girls room? Buy new curtains for the girls room? Would he agree to spend money on that? Or would he show her where Andreas sewing machine was and tell her to go buy fabric like Andrea used to do? And give her the paint color matching gadget he bought for Andrea so she could paint inside the house herself?
Would the kids rebel against a new step mom because she is taking the place of their Mom? That happens a lot. Maybe they might love having somebody who was kind and caring and who remember important stuff like their ages and what grades they were in at school. But if they are not allowed to change how they live in their rigid routines.....they may grow to resent her a LOT.
Will she be allowed to teach the kids to say please and thank you.....and how to use silverware when they eat? Will she be allowed to teach Hannah to quit interrupting and repeating everything over and over until she gets FULL attention? Will she be allowed to show love and affection to Solly and Claudia and NOT to favor Sophia and Hannah all the time?
I hope Tommo's GF thinks about this. I hope she watches all the videos with April and her kids in....frame-by-frame....and opens her heart to the reality that is right there in ALL the videos. The answers to every doubt and question she may have are ALL right there, posted by Tommo. He doesn't see his own reality. Everybody else does. I hope she will too.
Gonna need receipts before I buy the whole new gf schtick.
Anyone else with me?.
Tommo the deluded father that thinks his kids will be successful in real world- Pt 21 |
