Okay, my Valentine's day has reached its end, so let's see what Jen and Don have got up to, shall we?

Jen has gotten up at the ass crack of dawn (5:30) on Valentine's day while it's pitch black outside to go to the gym for a run. She says she has a lot of things to accomplish so she got up really early to squeeze it in. If it were me, I would have let the run fall by the way side and stay in bed with "my favourite sweetie" but she's clearly trying to avoid him.

She drops off the cookies she's made including a flower arrangement. Gravy got flowers for Shrill. She's back home and showing off her outfit which is cute and appropriate for V day. She says you can win the makeup she is wearing but you can barely see any of it. She spent way too much money on green tea kit kats. $15 for 12 small bars! She justified it as it was shipped from Japan.

Don returns with a lot of grocery bags, some flowers and balloons for Jen. She slams him for not using reusable bags. Don also dropped the ball on getting her the balloon she wanted. She says she almost got him balloons but had a suspicion he would get her some. Bitch, get the man a token of your affection. She gushes about the flowers and the bee cake. Winnie plays with the balloons for a while but she takes it back saying "it's mommy's now". I bet the circumstances here that a lot.

Jen leaves the camera with Don as she has to work on some V day and "work" things. Don stares right down the barrel of the camera which is a view I'm betting Jen tries to avoid at all costs.



He bases the meal on the pacing they experienced at Alinea. He is making white chocolate mousse (which he makes way too much of) as it's Jen's favourite chocolate, a duo of balls of a meatball and a mac and cheese ball on a garlic crostini, handmade pasta (nerve wracking) with vodka cream sauce, beet cauliflower soup (sounds disgusting), sashimi salad and filet mignon. There's also the bee cake. I'm still waiting for Jen to contribute anything to this day.

They exchange cards. Her card to him says "How sweet it is to be loved by you." Always self centered. I would have said "How sweet it is to love you" but that's just me.

The dinner begins with poems to introduce each course. Good lord, where did the man find the time? She has it fully displayed but asks if it's sexual? Gross. She call's the cauliflower soup "DELIGHTFUL!" (RIP headphone users) after making fun of it (soup a 'la pink). Next course is caprese salad where he tried to cup the mozz into a heart shape but failed. The sashimi course is served and I am still flummoxed by his effort and her lack thereof. She gets the note about the duo of balls and giggles like a grade schooler. Don compares her to his pasta course as being "delicate and light" which pasta is neither and neither is Jen. Honestly, I'd smash a plate of it. She brings up his spelling error of "dessert" as "desert". Bitch. I'd also smash the filet which is "fantastic. FYI." She fumbles the bag with the "sweeter than you/me" comment but Don doesn't call her out on it.

She only eats half the chocolate mousse deciding to leave the bee cake for tomorrow. I'm not surprised. That was a shit ton of food and I can't imagine the leftovers. She gives Don her present but won't show it to us as it's a "personal pwesent" she lisps in her babyiest of voices. She says people don't think she does anything for him (I'm still waiting for literally anything) and he says not everything is fit for Youtube.

She ate the rest of the mousse anyway and drank too much so I guess he's not getting any. Apparently there's a husband tag coming up and we hear the villain origin of DisorganisedDon. She sends extra love to those who don't celebrate V-day because they need it which has aged like milk.

Have the Valentine's day you deserve, current Jen!