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| I moved into my first apartment with a box of books and a hand me down bed my mom let me have from her guest room. One of my (FOUR) roommates and I took a few late-night strolls on garbage nights and grabbed kitchen stools and some other random things from the sidewalk, and our couch was some godawful ass plaid monstrosity that some previous tenant had left. We also had one of those industrial-sized spool things that we kept out front for sitting on and smoking cigarettes at all hours of the night - now that I’m an adult with a kid I really am impressed at how kind the family on the other side of our duplex was because I would have killed us all.
IF Lemon is buying apartment shit for Paige in some misguided attempt at mothering, she shouldn’t because IMO young adults should experience being broke and figuring shit out for themselves. But. We all know Paige isn’t anywhere close to moving out and Lemon is just buying to buy so. |
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| I didn’t even get mani/pedi/hair all done on the same day for my wedding but here goes Vanessa “For all you guys asking me how I get it all done” Elphick doing it all on a Wednesday.
If you ask me that’s was a dramatic buildup for a trim and a curl but okay. |
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| | Lemon’s stories started playing while I was at the bus stop tonight and I heard “For all of you who are like, ‘Oh my gosh how do you get it all done??’ I don’t. I don’t get it all done” and I almost peed my pants. |
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| Ahahahaha Vanessa and her candy pancakes. Boxed pancakes are ALREADY meal prepped. It takes more time to cook them ahead of time, wrap them up, freeze them, and then reheat when it’s time to eat.
We’re a Bisquick household (yes that’s me flexing 💪) so we have to add milk & eggs and it still only takes like 4 minutes from box to table. |
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| FIDDY’S CAT STORY.
She made a story about how a young cat got hit by a car in their neighborhood. A little boy took his sweatshirt off, scooped up the cat’s body, and put it on the sidewalk by Fiddy’s house so she disposed of the body “for him” and made a dedicated Instagram story “to thank him” and hung the jacket on a tree “for him” but couldn't fucking throw it in the washing machine first??? Based on her story it doesn’t even sound like she interacted with this kid at all, so what actually happened is that this creep watched a kid move a dead cat out of the road and instead of going to help him and talk to him and offer to wash his jacket, she waited for him to leave so she could film what she hopes will become one of those stupid staged “good news” videos that go viral.
Godgoeooeooegod she’s gross. Sorry if this has been discussed already but things have been uhcrazy around here and I haven’t caught up. 🍰 💜 |
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| QUOTE (Keyboard cowboy @ 22/3/2022, 01:29) QUOTE I think I got cirrhosis from just reading that. I would bet diabetes prior to cirrhosis if I was in a betting mood (based on the sugar content of their chosen alcohol and their diets overall)
They drink like teenagers. That’s the kind of shit that sits in your fridge for months on end, or that you buy for a party for your friends that don’t like beer so they have something to hold. You know? Like it’s fine to have ONE canned margarita but any more than that is either a headache or a stomachache.
I just. I love eating and drinking so much, honestly. And I can’t imagine filling precious stomach space with the garbage that these idiots do. And in New Orleans, my god! What I’d give to wait in line at Preservation Hall with a beer right now. They truly are a couple of stone cold idiots. |
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| Lemon’s latest is peak Duhnessa - she really did film herself reading a website out loud. May the lord bless and keep her. 🥲
I don’t want to yuck on anyone’s yum here but that “family day” was jam packed with THE most generic activities. It just seems like a such a bummer that they live in a cool place but the best thing they can come up with is a wax museum built into a tourist trap. And of course they finished off the day at a candy store so the kids spent the car ride home stuffing their faces.
I googled “San Antonio with kids” and it spit out like 20 different parks, cool-looking caves, hiking trails, and actual restaurants that serve actual food. And Vanessa, who fucking cares if the kids do the Alamo and the river walk with school? It’s a different experience with your family. Just admit that you’re not interested in any activities with your children that require you to actually interact with them in a meaningful way.
Sorry meant to add that parks are free. 😏 |
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| QUOTE (50 Hidey Holes @ 15/3/2022, 12:53) Newest TLC show: my 100 pound tongue 👅
NO STOP 😭😭 |
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| QUOTE (dirtydarrylssidepiece @ 15/3/2022, 04:39) Was gonna look at a few of uh Vee's videos to see what ol Mrs. Alma Trumble is up to and saw this bad boy...
#WhatIsYourLife
What depths of loneliness must someone be in to wind up unloading like that in the comments section of a Lemon video? I almost want to reach out to that person and suggest they start a blog instead.
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| QUOTE (Marie123 @ 13/3/2022, 23:27) I wonder if Mark works a lot of weekends and she feels the need to have Mark with her to leave the house with all of the kids.
YUP. Remember when she did a grocery haul where she took her kids shopping with her and spent the whole video repeating “Don’t take your kids to the store!! I learned the hard way”?
She has zero authority with them in her own home so of course taking them anywhere by herself is out of the question. Even in her office makeover video she says she “prefers” that her children use trays when they’re doing art projects. TF DOES THAT MEAN? |
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| Speaking of tax refunds, I woke up this morning thinking about how I spent mine on heating the apartment this winter. Our ConEd bill was $550 last month and I know people who got slammed with $900 bills. For one month.
I am gainfully employed and have a savings account and the first thing I wake up thinking about are utility bills. I’m not suggesting anyone live day and night thinking of their finances but if you know there’s a war going on and everything costs more, why. WHY. Would you spend so much money on literally anything that Lemon buys ever? |
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| | Just for funsies that sandwich costs $11.75 plus tax plus tip plus breakfast cocktails so. Good thing she hoards school food and makes the kids share a bed |
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| QUOTE (Onbreak @ 10/3/2022, 15:53) I like to think of Mr Onbreak as my equal
If he spends over $75 at the dolla twenty-five tree I'm saying something
Mr. FG thinks I spend a lot but that’s because he grew up extremely poor in a tiny town in Mexico (no shade, just facts) and he budgets every drop of shampoo.
He definitely gives me side eye if a bunch of packages show up in a row and he’ll definitely reign me in if I start talking about buying new living room curtains when we just replaced them a month ago or whatever. So yeah I think we even each other out because thanks to me we don’t live in squalor and thanks to him we haven’t spent all our money on curtains and takeout. 🤷♀️ I have no point I just like talking
Is anyone going to say anything about Fiddy going out for brunch ONE TIME and talking about it in like three videos and seventeen Instagram stories golly |
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| | The liners are so irritating. I’m not even close to being as green as I can be - I’ve been seeing more of what I think are municipal compost bins around and thinking, “Huh I should do that.” We even have a backyard which is basically unheard of and I STILL don’t compost - but between the crock pot liners and the paper plates Lemon makes me look like Mother Earth herself. |
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| Ooh I have a timely anecdote about extracurriculars: Yesterday I took my 3.5 year old to a trial dance class. She got overwhelmed and I couldn’t calm her down, so we left and will try again next week. It wasn’t that dramatic but I was a little embarrassed and stressed.
Later on I took her to an event at a local brewery, and we only stayed for an hour and a half because that’s how long she felt like eating cheese puffs and coloring under the table. She threw a little bit of a tantrum as we were leaving and I’m sure my Uber rating took a hit from that ride home. BUT, we went. We saw friends. Mommy enjoyed a nice craft beer. We had the experience.
The thing about the dance class is that had I put more thought into it, I would’ve brought her early so she had time to get acclimated before I left her alone with the other girls. I KNOW she has a hard time at school drop off, so how could I not have prepared better? I didn’t feel judged by the teacher but I did feel embarrassed. So yeah it would be easier for me to never take her back, but I’m not doing bb OR me any favors by avoiding uncomfortable situations.
Tl;dr: Fucking Lemon and Mark are too lazy and worried about what people think of them to want to deal with taking their kids on vacation or in public at all (other than the movie theater, do we ever hear about them going out to dinner or anything??) or getting them involved in activities and they’re straight up ruining them. They LEFT THEIR HOUSE to MAKE A LIST and organize ONE box of papers, and instead of making any actual effort to lose weight and change her body Lemon is instead just posting weird selfies that make her look thin. I’ve lost track of my point honestly but Jesus god damn, Lemon. |
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567 replies since 12/9/2020
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