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.Why do you suppose Jen didn’t film a video about buying the Riviera DVC? That would have been interesting and fresh content. It would have likely garnered her some new subscribers and viewers. Any guesses why she kept that quiet?
And if she’s going to do hauls and favorites, sharing prices would be helpful to her viewers didn’t she used to tell what she paid for items? Why not just state the price rather than repeating how expensive and pricey something is (ie her Everesting trip).
None of her videos are helpful in any way. I was just thinking about when she got her annual pass she didn’t show where she went to physically pick up her card, where the bathrooms were in Epcot, you know, any USEFUL information 🙄. -
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Im thinking the sofa has a sloppy slipcover on it? Potterybarn isn't exactly known for well made sofas or even furniture. I never understood her obsession with them. . -
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WTF is that? She should be the very picture of good health considering her obsessive focus on 'fitness'. Instead she looks like the cat dragged her in.. -
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This made me lol so I made a sticker.SPOILER (click to view)
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She looks like one of the villains in creepy serial killer movies after they take their wig off but are still wearing the panty-hose-like thing they put over their real hair. . -
.Im thinking the sofa has a sloppy slipcover on it? Potterybarn isn't exactly known for well made sofas or even furniture. I never understood her obsession with them.
Is it from PB or is it from Wayfair? The rest of that furniture came from Wayfair when she was BudgetingLikeJen.
We have a bedroom set from PB. It’s lovely, but it’s the softest wood I’ve ever seen in furniture(s). Laundry basket slips and hits the drawer? Dent. Hand slips opening the end table and your fingernail hits the drawer? Dent. I wear gloves to change the sheets simply for this reason, there’s nail marks on the lower headboard too. And the side rails on the bed look like they’re out of a torture chamber since the dog uses them to launch herself onto the bed. I’ve had a lot of nice things from them but this set has left me with regrets.. -
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I think the sofa's from Wayfair, not PB. Even when it was new in this video, it looked like a POS. This Feelings & TJ's video is something else, seeing it again. Mute/skip the beginning because of that stupid ragtime music.
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.Another possible message Jen is sending to Charlotte: If you are nervous you should look scared and make a big deal out of it (and/or avoid doing said thing), instead of getting on with it even though you’re nervous. I swear Jen is out to make her kids as neurotic as she is.
This is so horrible and such a poor take.
Slightly related, I remember hearing an interview Nicholas Braun (Cousin Greg on Succession) did on the Stephen Colbert show. Apparently Nicholas has really bad stage fright and the interview took forever to do, but Stephen just took his time and let him do the interview at his own pace. This is how you help people who are nervous—you don’t belittle their feelings. This, Jen, is why you have to pay for “friends”.. -
.Im thinking the sofa has a sloppy slipcover on it? Potterybarn isn't exactly known for well made sofas or even furniture. I never understood her obsession with them.
Is it from PB or is it from Wayfair? The rest of that furniture came from Wayfair when she was BudgetingLikeJen.
We have a bedroom set from PB. It’s lovely, but it’s the softest wood I’ve ever seen in furniture(s). Laundry basket slips and hits the drawer? Dent. Hand slips opening the end table and your fingernail hits the drawer? Dent. I wear gloves to change the sheets simply for this reason, there’s nail marks on the lower headboard too. And the side rails on the bed look like they’re out of a torture chamber since the dog uses them to launch herself onto the bed. I’ve had a lot of nice things from them but this set has left me with regrets.
I had a bed from CB2 and same. I treated it with kid gloves and it still looked rough within a year. I disassembled it to sell and the headboard full-on cracked in one spot.
The mid-range, consumer-facing furniture brands just aren't it. I can imagine it's only gotten worse since 2020.. -
Miralax.
User deleted
So, Mr. Miralax happened to catch part of the live yesterday when she was talking about olives and he gave me a look that said "Why are you watching this weirdo?" lol. Now he understands why she has a whole board snarking on her every day. . -
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Here are some ideas for Robot Jenny.
Interesting toast for the kiddos.
Will Mama make them??
When pigs fly!
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I'm hoping the Friday DITL is a banger so posting this now: sing ho, a recap of Jen + Mother's Day! Originally I only meant to include the post-divorce days, then I watched her vlog from 2013 when Emily was due on Mother's Day. So yeah, it snowballed.
Hugs if you read it all
SPOILER (click to view)An Excruciatingly Deep Dive Into Jen + Mother's Day
by WhereDoesDaddySleep
2013
Emily is pregnant with the First Ross Grandchild and due on Mother’s Day (MD), so the Rosses decide to delay their MD celebration until a week after the birth (no idea if they did this - baby was born on the 20th, Jen had a UTI on the 28th, I like to think she used that as an excuse if they did.)
BTW if you've never seen someone smugly announce they have a UTI, here you go:
So much sex. Sexsexsexitysex. Put a pin in this.
Back to MD:
Jen vlogs and says she wants “to honor all of the mothers in her life” and goes on “special delivery errands” to see her mom and drop off a gift to Suzanne.QUOTE10:49 “I wanted to make sure that I saw both moms today. I actually did not get to see Suzanne today, I’m glad I spent some time with her yesterday, but she was with Emily today. They were having a mommy-and-daughter kind of day…I wanted to go over there and give her a little gift and stuff, um…”
17:36 “…not every day, like I said, is like, an upbeat, chipper, happy day, and um…I was happy to be able to <sigh> be with my mom on mother’s day, and last night too, and be with my grandmothers last night, and I’m happy my mother-in-law got to spend time with her daughter today, you know, in the final throes of pregnancy here, and I know we’ll have a nice celebration when baby is born and be able to celebrate Emily as a new mommy too.”
I edited the vlog down to the good parts (pardon the shitty sound):
2014
Don buys Jen MD presents. Jen lets people assume she's had a miscarriage (a continuation of her Poop Hitting the Fan vaguebooking.)
2015
Announces her first pregnancy at MD brunch, six days after her positive test.
Jen had wanted to host the event, but Poopsie and Weatherman Dave wrestled the distinction away from her. (She vlogs/it's boring.)
Screenshot from her pregnancy journal flip through.
2016
Unfortunately this happened during the PrettyNeatUnlikeJen (the former forum) days AND Jen's snapchat phase. I've pieced together what I can via the Internet Archive (thank you to all the bakers, past and present, whose usernames I have cut out of screenshots like a pregnant woman's head from a Christmas card.)
It's Jen's first MD, and the plan is brunch with the Rosses.
Late morning, Jen walks to Starbucks with Charlotte and Winnie. She says they're "trying to make it this morning" to brunch with Don's family.
Jen comes home, puts Teets down for her nap and does laundry.
Oops, Charlotte is taking an extra-long nap. Guess they’ll have to miss brunch! Jen: “Oh well.”
Or is she playing passive-aggressive because she wasn’t consulted (or was ignored) about scheduling?
Jen says the great-grandparents will come over later for a "CC viewing" and snacks.
Except eventually, Jen and the baby do join.
The conclusion from proto-bakers is that Jen never intended to join the Ross celebration.
Epilogue: Jen has no problem taking Charlotte to Geaux Wild the following week.
2017
I'm hoping Jen and Don had a mature discussion about the previous year, because they spend this MD as a trio. They’d celebrated with the fam the week before.*QUOTE"And many thanks to my husband for helping make this Mother's Day fun & relaxing for me. We ate pancakes, enjoyed the sunshine, and pretended the buzzer at Shake Shack was a phone."
IG Post
*on further thought, it's more likely that Emily is alternating holidays with the Weatherman fam. Don and Jen have never had a mature discussion about anything without lawyers present.
INTERESTINGLY...the Friday before, Jen had an entry in her planner for "8am Interview" and "don't be late!" and "questions + timing".
8:54 in the May 17, 2017 "Plan With Me"
My belief is this was a parent interview with the SK - because outsourcing care of your child is the greatest gift this SAHM could ask for.
Unfortunately for Jen, Charlotte wasn't walking yet and wouldn't be until late October. I imagine the SK told them, come back when she's on her feet. Ultimately Charlotte started Monday, December 11th, a very odd date - Jen was seemingly desperate for "mom time".
2018
Begins the day by harping on body acceptance. Next story is bragging about fitting into her pre-pregnancy pants (which are leggings).
Charlotte and Don surprise her with balloons; Jen snarks that Charlotte chose them. Poor Donny is fucking miserable - maybe because a few days before Jen was talking about weaning him off Zantac.
Anyway, she gets all dolled up in her fat pants + a maternity top and they attend some Mother’s Day brunch in a banquet hall.
2019
Posts a “mercy on mothers” shitquote, screenshot lost to time. Solicits questions for a Q&A, answers some in stories--obviously doing what she can to avoid her family.
IDK Jen was boring bakers to death by this point. Thank goodness she destroyed her life, amiright
Caged IG Post (Spot the weirdo who thinks Jen wants to be her friend.)
2020
In case you missed it, in January of 2020 Jen announced she and D** were divorcing. This one is a doozy so I'm starting two weeks before.
Monday, April 27: Kids come back from D**'s, Jen complains he didn't brush Charlotte's hair. Next story is reminding dads about Mother's Day.
Friday, May 8: posts a Target/Amazon/Grove haul. Towards the end she talks about budgeting, literally admitting to it:
Goes on to say she is "solely financially responsible now". And that she's
Meanwhile, she's repeatedly posting pictures of Charlotte with neglected hair (April 30th, May 1st, May 9th).
Saturday, May 9: How dare anyone criticize Jen for obviously ignoring her child's grooming needs. Charlotte is UNTAMED.
Sunday, May 10: Happy Mother's Day! Or, as Jen reminds us, it doesn't have to be happy.
And of course, she is LIVID that she's being told she is not a single mom:
Attempts to shame followers by posting the "hate" messages she gets:
And doubles down on the suggestion that D** is leaving her high and dry:
Later she posts pictures of an empty craptice closet. She'd lied that she was boxing everything up to redo the room, but Charlotte has already tipped viewers off to the new house.
Here's my theory: Jen did not want to leave RM1 and expected D** to give it to her. Instead he asked her to buy out his $800k share - but there’s no way she's paying $800k of $ her money $ to stay put “for the kids”, no matter the size of her divorce settlement or inheritance. This would be the first time Jen has ever felt anything like financial scarcity. Hence the hints that D** has left her in a challenging financial situation
Oh and Sundays are D** days so she dropped the kids off with him early in the morning, still in their pajamas, Charlotte's hair unbrushed. She remembers them at 9pm and belatedly posts something positive about MD. Continues to argue about Charlotte’s hair in the comments.
The next day, Bakers speculate about the imaginary Tensleigh.
<stage whisper>: This is foreshadowing.
2021
Another banner year. Starting a week before this time.
Sunday, May 2nd: "I don't rage, I ride"
Monday, May 3rd: "I'm going for that don’t f*ck with me look"
It gets worse:
(Now's the moment to remember her giddiness at having a UTI
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Wednesday, May 5th: Unbeknownst to the Bakery, Don and the flesh-and-blood Tensleigh marry + are contingent on RM3.
Thursday, May 6th: Jen posts breakup lyrics ("My breaking heart and I agree that you and I could never be"). Less than an hour later, Don's bachelor pad is back up for rent.
Saturday, May 8th: It's Don's (and Tensleigh's!) weekend and Jen appears to be traveling, based on Peloton activity. Keeps busy deleting saved IG stories, including their Williamsburg trip.
Sunday, May 9th: Happy Mother's Day! Martyr Mama doesn't say anything until the evening. She posts a pic of the kids (Charlotte's hair is brushed, thanks D+T) then complains about motherhood:
To quote FP: “If the kids aren’t with her, it’s because she didn’t want them. Point blank period.”
Jen is back home Monday because she does every single Peloton MD class. I don't think we ever learned what she was doing this weekend. Eating, probably.
2022
Tuesday, May 3rd: Bitch has the audacity to like this post:
FYI Jen: actual single mothers do not escape their children every MD, since they have no partner to dump them on
Later posts that she's in her feels. Kids would rather be with D+T (probably) so she bribes them with cookies.
Friday, May 6: Jen escapes to NYC.
Saturday, May 7: Don and Tensleigh have a proper wedding celebration. Their kids make up the wedding party and T's ex attends. It is a beautiful day in Chicago.
It is raining in NYC.
Sunday, May 8: Happy Mother's Day! D+T host a brunch Sunday morning for all the mothers in their lives.
It is raining in NYC. Jen posts nothing to acknowledge MD. Bakers don't notice because they're busy gushing over how happy Charlotte looks.
Monday, May 9: Jen belatedly announces a social media break to her Patrons. Remains active on Patreon, a social media platform.
Wednesday, May 11: Posts old pics of the kids on IG, comments disabled, saying she took a break from IG:QUOTEI love this space but it can also be very destructive.
hmmm like PK posting a live feed of your ex's wedding to his hottie wife?
Happy early Mother’s Day Jen! You're well on your way to another banner year.
Remember: "Don’t check her Instagram on Mother’s Day, unless you want your day ruined.". -
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The second D** left her ass, she started identifying as a single mother. Always a martyr, that Jen. QUOTE
This gif still scares me. She looks like an escaped deranged lunatic about to go on a rampage.. -
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Looking good, Tens 😊 . -
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I loved your in depth MD analysis, Where Does Daddy Sleep. Someone could know nothing about Jen and read your post and get an extremely clear picture of what an awful mother (and former wife/DIL) she is. .
SingleMotherSingleCruiserSingleLoser #cheesecart Pt. 402 |
